Category: Revision

I believe that through this second writing project I have improved on the learning outcome which focuses on critiquing ones one work through early global revision and local revision later. In this second project I made much clearer and extennsive global revisions,adding and taking out whole paragraphs and integrating new ideas that I had not done in previous drafts.

As these pictures from my final draft show, I removed very large portions of my essay and replaced them, improving on my global revision skills.

My revising process for this particular essay was a lot different than that of essays I wrote in high school. The main difference being I did not fall in love with my first draft and instead I scrapped large portions of it, added chunks and moved parts around to make the overall structure make more sense. I would count this step as evaluating as I made changes to my essay so that it better met the standards of the assignment.I also used the constructive criticism I received from my classmates to improve my paper which is something I am not used to as the typical comments I would receive on my papers would be all positive leaving me no room or ideas on how to improve my paper.To me this step is analyzing as I viewed my paper in parts highlighted by my peers and I then changed and made corrections piece by piece until my paper made more sense and flowed better. I believe this was the most helpful tool during the revision process as it helped me narrow down things I really needed to improve on and the things that I got right. Overall I am satisfied with my final draft. I think it is structured coherently, addresses the prompt, ties Dweck, bain and my experiences together and provides a thoughtful analysis on who I am as a learner and it gave me the foundation I needed to make a podcast about myself as a learner, I would consider this step to be creating.

Link to podcast: https://soundcloud.com/user-951268121/project2

Translating my essay content into a podcast was actually quite difficult, the minimum time requirement was two minutes so I tried to not go too far over that which meant I had to condense a lot of my thoughts into quicker and to the point ideas. My podcast ended up being about five minutes but if I had unlimited time I probably would have taken about ten minutes to get all my ideas, my experiences and connections between Bain and Dweck. I am overall satisfied with the final product as I added some uniqueness to the podcast by calling my mom and using her to gain insight on myself as a learner. I’d say overall the podcast took me two to two and a half hours to complete, not including the time it took me to understand how to use the audacity software through experimenting and watching tutorial videos.

After having my peers read and comment on my essay and reviewing their comments I was able to make some global and local revisions. The most important revision I made was a global one, more specifically the change was to my thesis. At first it wasn’t really clear where my thesis was and what exactly my stance was on grades, but after revising it I made it very clear that my position is that grades are flawed but necessary. As for local revisions, I change the entire closing sentence for the third paragraph as one of my peers pointed out that it was all over the place and hard to follow.